I think I died


Here is a poem I wrote about an experience I had one night resulting I believe from my sleep apnea.

I Think I Died
Abruptly Awake,
but this, all is different.
Surrounded by the dark, a black emptiness,
something is amiss.

The awakeness of
my mind, existing only within itself,
on this awareness level,
it’s alone, unfettered, loose from earthly physical sensations.
None at all.

Out of the blackness, suddenly I see a spiral of
Beautiful, white clouds, enormous, puffy
At first,
Then shrinking, trailing off into a far distance.

A tiny, twinge of fear murmurs, catches
My attention for a second, but then disappears.
I am confused. Where am I, and
I do not want to look at the end
of that spiral.

Within myself is born a knowledge of no going back
If I dare to glance, look only for a second,
but I am given no choice. I
have to look at the end of the spiral,
swirling away into the recesses of the
I turn toward the spiral and look,
and immediately
it happens. Words
feel utterly useless to describe such a sight.

It is the light, everywhere,
Surrounding me, unlike
Any light
on the earth I have ever seen, and It is

Deep inside this light an
Intelligence, a presence, moves.
I feel it from within its
Inner core.

A blanket of light, so thick I feel I
Could grab, contain, a handful if I so wished.
Again, all words fail to do it

It glistens, sparkles, so blindingly bright
It almost hurts to watch it. I look as the
colors of the Rainbow
bounce back and forth, back and forth
ceaselessly Entrancing.

I turn away from its brightness, but again I have
No choice. I have to look at the light.
I turn to look once more, but as soon
As I do, I am gone.

A sensation of being thrown back into,
Up against something hard, and with a
I am back inside my fleshly shell.

Stiff, but moving, wondering what just
Happened to me.
The knowledge comes but is hard to accept.
I think I just died.

But He sent me back!
Perhaps to tell of the living light
waiting, waiting. As He waits,
Glory shining around His head, Our Lord
and Savior, Jesus Christ!


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