Angele

As I have said in an earlier blog, the main reason I started this blog was to testify of some experiences I had had with God. I would like to testify before I have to leave this earth. I have already had an aggressive form of cancer two times and am currently in remission. If God can become more real for you then that is what I hope and pray can happen through this.

I’ve told earlier of some of my childhood troubles, the devastation I went through from being an orphan. I was going through a very dark time in my adulthood. I have always had trouble with anxiety, sometimes very severe anxiety and have all my life had trouble with nightmares because of this.

As I was going through this difficult time, my anxiety level went up high, and the nightmares increased. One night I woke up in tears, crying, from one dream. As I laid in bed trying to get control of myself, the sensation of someone physically gently caressing my head started at the top of my head and went down the back to the top of my neck. At the time I felt no fear. A thought ran through my mind. It was an angel trying to comfort me.

I know in this modern, humanistic age where we glorify man above everything else a belief in the supernatural is discouraged and even laughed at. But God is real and is still in control of His universe. I’m just grateful to Him for allowing me to learn about Him and for His love that reaches down to comfort us in our time of deepest need. May He bless your day today. Praise God!!!

your_guardian_angel_by_micoi1

Hell and then a Touch

Screenshot from Dante’s Inferno video game

I started life as an orphan. My birth mother would not give me up for adoption so I was kept in the system sort of in limbo. My first home was an orphanage, but because I was not developing well I was then put into foster care. Before the age of two I was moved around at least 3 to 4 times. It was like being in hell. I felt like an unwanted piece of human garbage. I have known a total vacuum of love or lovelessness. Fear, pain and despair were the emotions I remember best.

I did later get adopted, but my adoptive mother did not quite know how to deal with a damaged child. She was an emotionally troubled person herself so I did not get the healing I needed. I carried over the same damage and emotional problems into my adulthood.

As problems came, and they come to all of us, I did not know how to deal with them very well at times. I felt very empty on the inside. I remember praying very deeply at times. God heard those prayers. I at one time had decided to fast for the first time in my life and did it to honor God’s goodness in my life. I don’t know why He decided to do what He did except out of the goodness of His heart.

The night of the fast I was suddenly awake in the middle of the night. The intense heat started at the top of my head and slowly went down until it engulfed my whole body. I lost all physical sensation. I was aware only of the beating of my heart. It lasted for about a few minutes and then slowly subsided until it was completely gone. I have never experienced anything like it ever again with any of my other fasting. I believe God touched me that night. Out of the kindness of his heart. I was going through a very dark time in my life. I feel He did it to encourage me when I needed it most.

In your darkest times, place yourself into the hands of the living God. He loves you more than anyone else ever will. Praise God!!!

A Dance

Early this morning, God gave me another impression, or vision, no matter what word you want to use for it. He has been so kind to me. I think possibly because of how devastating my childhood felt. He has the kindest heart in all of creation and existence.

I was already awake. I have just come off of five years of cancer treatments in which I have had to have several major surgeries. My surgical site is still a little sore, and this wakes me up at night sometimes. I was awake, and I could hear the tune to a waltz running through my mind. God gave me the impression of dancing with Him in a small ballroom. There were a few other people there. We were dancing on the dance floor. I was dressed in a long, but simple white dress. My hair which is naturally dark was more of a blonde color and held back in one long braid. He just kept dancing me around the room. The room was edged by columns and full of light. I could feel this deep sense of peace, wholeness completeness. It was wonderful!

I woke up with still the same deep sense of peace. I do not know why people do not want to believe that somewhere in the universe is someone that wants to love them that deeply and completely. Why would you not want to believe in a beautiful, wonderful loving Heavenly Father? That has always mystified me.

Least of the Least

I came into the world as one of the least of the least – an orphan. I know what it feels like to have nothing: no mother, no father, no brothers, no sisters, not even a last name I could call my own. My earliest memories are only ones of fear, anger, terror and a deep sense of hopelessness. Before the age of two years old, I had been passed around at least three to four different times starting in an orphanage to foster care. At times I felt like an unwanted piece of human garbage. It felt like being in hell. They said I was an extremely sensitive child. Maybe it affected me more deeply. That I do not know.

I sit today at this keyboard only in the grace and power of the Living God. If it had not been for his presence in my life, I do not know what would have happened to me, death I suppose. I was semi-suicidal at the age of 17.

But mercy upon mercy, God was so good to me. From an early age on, I can remember being able to lay down in the grass, look up at the sky and feel a strong presence with me. God is real, and God is good. He loves us so passionately, profoundly and deeply. You should allow Him into your life. It is His strength, power and grace that got me through some really terrible times. Praise God!! Won’t you let Him into your life today.