Denial

Deny, deny
I turn my back
Then sigh
Wondering why
I am so
Miserable.

On the bed
At night
Toss and turn
I cry
If you are real
Within your face
Light up the sky!

But nothing
There is not a trace
Of anything or
Any One

So I turn back
To the screen
Of my TV
Or the phone
Things I know
I sit alone

Harden the
Heart
Feel nothing
Develop the art
Of pleasure
Seeking

Just one more fix
This pain will
Pass
Seek one more
High
Maybe it will last
This time

So I rush,
Concentrate
On this world
Fix your eyes
On this strange
Green Pearl

Bigger house,
Fancier car,
Is this by far
The best I can do
Or is there really
You?

Endless cycles
They repeat
As I keep
On searching
For that which
Will meet

My greatest
Deepest need
Maybe one more
Piece of food,
Drink, house,
Vacation,

Rushing, seeking,
I perpetuate
This Empty pain
But I refuse to cry out
Your Name
So again, I sigh
And again your
Name I deny.

Matthew 10:33 …whoever denies me before men, I will deny before my Father who is in heaven.