Saturday Devotional & Testimonial

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It felt like I was born into hell, no mother, no father, no home, family, no love. I was tossed about like a piece of unwanted human garbage. I was an orphan from birth. I was traumatized and damaged by all of it. I had the hot breath of Satan in my face from birth. I later was adopted into a home where I never quite felt really loved or wanted or felt I really fit in.

Unfortunately, neither parent know how to deal with a damaged child. One of them didn’t really want a child, and the other had good intentions but lacked the skills to carry them out because of her own background. It was like being in a classroom without a good teacher and left me semi-suicidal at the age of 17.

Fortunately for me, God stepped in. I had always even as a young child been able to sense a presence with me. I later learned about a loving Heavenly Father and loving Savior, Jesus of Nazareth with his powerful Holy Spirit.

Today in all of your problems in life and pain, won’t you let Christ into your life. He loved you enough to let Himself be tortured to death on a cruel, horrible Roman cross. He does love you and wants to help you with everything in your life. Praise God!!

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Eight Year Drought

Because of my cancer treatments, I had not taken a vacation trip in eight years. Finally this year, I traveled with my family(husband, daughter, son-in-law and two grandchildren) to the Smokey Mountains National Park. It was the first year since 2011 I have had the strength to travel anywhere. Also because of my little grandson’s autism, my daughter and son-in-law were unable to take him on any trips. Some places are friendly to handicapped children, but unfortunately most are not.

We stayed in a cabin so as not to disturb other people. My grandson has irregular sleep patterns and can make noise at night.

But Praise God, Praise God!! We had a wonderful time, and both children behaved much better than we expected. Baric, my grandson, seemed to enjoy the trip more than anyone. Autistic people can be fascinated by water and its movements so they took him to the Aquarium there. He loved it and enjoyed the mountain streams. They even let him dabble his toes in one.

I did not know even where to begin to look for a cabin to stay in and just took the first nice-looking one we could afford. It turned out to have a outstanding and beautiful view of the mountains and size-wise fit all of us.

God gave us a wonderful vacation, and all of us really needed it. Praise God, Praise God, Praise God!!! May He bless your life like He has blessed mine! I came into life an orphan with nothing, and He has given me more than I could have thought possible. All He wants is your love and respect and of course, humble obedience. Have a blessed day!

Not about Me(Purchase)

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There is only one entity that can lift you up out of the slime pits of hell, and that is the Holy Spirit. When Satan literally is trying to destroy you—-and remember he doesn’t want to just give you a little boo boo, he wants to rip you to shreds——only the Holy Spirit of the Living God and Christ has the power to destroy Satan’s influence and effects in your life. Saturate yourself in Him. I had a horribly abusive start in life and was put into a home where I unfortunately never quite felt really wanted or loved. If it had not been for the presence of the living Christ in my life, I might have done myself in.

Watchman Nee says to kill off your old self, crucify yourself every morning in order to allow Christ to completely and totally live in you. Apostle Paul says It is not I that liveth but Christ that liveth in me. When you go under the waters of baptism, it like being buried, and you don’t bury something unless it is dead. We are to be new creations, totally new. The old man of sin and death was destroyed on Christ’s cross. We will never do this perfectly this side of heaven. It is something we do have to struggle with.

I pray you can draw closer to the Living God. He does love you deeply, profoundly and passionately enough to send His only child to be tortured to death on a cruel, Roman cross. You are very, very precious to Him. Draw close to God, and He will draw close to you. Pray over everything with praise and thanksgiving.

Here is a poem on His presence. May the God of all hope bless your day. Praise God!!

Purchase

It was a purchase divine
In blood and of flesh
Freed from bone,
Ripped and torn.

Separated from life
But still supreme
Before a world lusting
After its death.

Who could know this
small death, one body
Thrown underground
Ripped open for eternity
An infinity of graves!

Spit Out Into Hell

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Screenshot from Dante's Inferno video game — Screenshot from Dante’s Inferno video game

I came into the world as an orphan from birth with nothing, no mother, no father, no love. I was traumatized and abused both. They said I was a highly sensitive child so maybe it impacted me more than someone else. I remember only fear and terror. I was suicidal a few times, but God stays close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18. Here is a poem I wrote about my experiences. Hope you enjoy. Praise God!!!

Spit Out Into Hell

Alone, wet, cold
Shivering into the wall,
I try to fade, pushing
Into the emptiness inside,
This, an unending terror.

I crouch, attempting to avoid
The inevitable. Knowing it
Will come. Survive, survive,
Gritting the teeth
Hanging on, hoping
reprieve will come
Someday.

Despair, hopelessness
dragging. So worthless,
I deserve only
this joyless existence?

Looking up I scream
someone explain this
Why?

Until a light breaks in,
A gentle presence
Fear brought no longer
a feather-soft presence
ever over my head
hidden, between us only
a thin veil of sky.

Feelings stir
Leaving Hope.
Do Not Give Up.
I AM here.

A Wind lifts
Releasing, removing pain.
Strong, a glowing light
Shines down into
my interior.

A living God, a living
Son.
Wonder of wonders
He wants Me!
Joy begins, grows
Becomes stronger
Passion and Praise flow.
New Life Is Created.

So if I can endure
So can You.
His life can exist
Inside of you.

Remember, loving He spread out
His arms
On a wooden beam.
Death juxtaposed on top of
LIFE!

Strange but I believe
Eternally True.
an answer to the
WHY.
HE can use anything, pain
sorrow
To bring you closer to
joy.
and in the darkness give you
Himself.

Passion but not in Black and White

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Jesus loves us so profoundly, deeply and passionately that he left a place so wonderful we can’t even begin to imagine its beauty, and He did it solely for us. He allowed himself to be tortured to death overnight and into the next day for our sakes. He was beaten almost to death, flogged and then spiked to a piece of wood. He loves us totally and completely. The poem below I wrote about the depth of His love for us. Hope you enjoy and may God bless your day. Praise God!!

In Black and White

Small minds reduce
our Lord’s Glory
to mere words on a page.

Life is not lived in
Black and White!

All life contains
A struggle.
Sad, happy,
Pain, Joy,
Misery and Glory.
Passion.

Our Lord knew this
And for this
He died.

But not in
Black and White!

Music and in Living Color

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Sometimes I have very vivid dreams. I was dreaming early this morning about my old job when all of a sudden without warning I was in the middle of a large group of black slaves. It was so vivid. It was like watching a movie. I could see everything so clearly. I don’t know why I was dreaming about this. Maybe from the Lord, maybe not.

Anyway, they had been loaded into the back of an open air wagon pulled by a horse. There was the sense they were in the process of being moved from one place to another, and they were singing this song. I could hear their rich, deep voices singing as they were riding down the road. It was this:

Oh, what do you do when you need Jesus? What do you do when you need Jesus? What do you do when you need Jesus?

Lord, take me home soon. Take me home soon.

The music was beautiful and the sound powerful. Everything was in color. The men were wearing white pants and shirts and the women were in colorful dresses, some in yellows, some in oranges with white kerchiefs around their necks. It was very moving. I could sense their pain.

I woke up and could not get the sound of the music, the words and their voices out of my head. In spite of their pain, they were looking to their Lord for their comfort.

Christ is everything. He is the Lord of this life and Lord of the next. In our pain, He wants to be close and intimate with you and be your comfort and to give you his power, strength and His joy. People talk so much about the gifts of the Spirit such as speaking in tongues, prophesying, teaching, giving generously, healing, but oh, the fruits of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. NIV

These are the core essence of the Living God. He is trying to turn us into Himself. Hallelujah, Praise God!! May He bless your day.