Chaos

chaosart

 

Chaos

They run, they stride
One spot to the other
Trying each to hide
The fear, pain
From their brothers

And sisters, whisper
As they go
What next, how
Do I know
What comes tomorrow?

How should I act
Is this the right way
I need some help
From this world’s
Chaos
Which seems to hold sway
Over everything.

My death I face
Every single hour
Will someone not tell
Me
Or does anyone
Have the power

To understand which
Way to turn
Where is the help from
This Firestorm,
Pain, struggle, strife
We call life.

Without guidelines
I will fail
Will someone not
Speak
Say a few words to tell
Me how to go?

Until softly and
Suddenly
One hand reaches
Out
In a small voice
Without a shout

Hands me a book
Won’t you give
a Look
Within its pages
One may find
Wisdom
for all the ages

It speaks of a
God
His joy, &
Power
Trying to love us
Through each and
Every hour

Jesus breathed, talked
Walked out
Guidelines in
His love
Sent from
Higher Celestial regions
Above

Never without
Him
Never will force
It
We were not
Created in just
A whim

Formed us in
Joy, did He
For man’s good
He forever gives
His teachings,
Showing us the way
To live

His yearning is for
You
To live within
His guidelines
Boundaries
Perfect until
The end of all time

For without
His boundaries
for our actions
Nothing is left
But the painful
Chaos

Victory!!!

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When Christ died on that cross our Victory was assured. The same power that raised Him out of that cold, dark grave wants to come and live inside of you, His Holy Spirit. The more we step out of the way and let this Spirit live in us, the more of His Victory over this world you will experience.

Were you a victim of abuse? Were you taught by parents to be an alcoholic, drug addict? Were you taught to be irresponsible with money, mean-hearted, negative, hypercritical? You do not have to be caught up in any of that anymore. Christ can give you His overcoming power to leave all of that behind you and step into His Victory!! He has overcome all the problems of this world, and can give you the power to overcome them also!!

He did that for me and will for you. I have had to have help, but do not be afraid to ask for help. Become a part of his spiritual family somewhere (church) and let them help you as well. Praise God for his unfailing love, mercy, compassion, grace and forgiveness. May you have a blessed day!!

Tears

crystaltears

Tears

Crystal tears
Polished with pain
Glisten, shine
Amidst life’s
Long, twisting lanes

Chimes in wind
Tinkling with sound
They slip, slide
Fall to ground.

Call out my name
These harbingers,
Past pains warn
Of future hurts

No one escapes
Travails, sorrows
We glide forward
Unknown indeed are
All tomorrows

Only one promise
Stands so clear
Voiced from heaven
To mortals so mere

Look up, see
My arms await
Each who tries to follow
My beckoning Son through
These opened gates

My tears also fall
To soak a thirsty earth
For all my lost children
Who turn their backs
On their gift of
this glorious new birth!

 

Saturday Devotional & Testimonial

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orangecross
OrangeCross

 

 

It felt like I was born into hell, no mother, no father, no home, family, no love. I was tossed about like a piece of unwanted human garbage. I was an orphan from birth. I was traumatized and damaged by all of it. I had the hot breath of Satan in my face from birth. I later was adopted into a home where I never quite felt really loved or wanted or felt I really fit in.

Unfortunately, neither parent know how to deal with a damaged child. One of them didn’t really want a child, and the other had good intentions but lacked the skills to carry them out because of her own background. It was like being in a classroom without a good teacher and left me semi-suicidal at the age of 17.

Fortunately for me, God stepped in. I had always even as a young child been able to sense a presence with me. I later learned about a loving Heavenly Father and loving Savior, Jesus of Nazareth with his powerful Holy Spirit.

Today in all of your problems in life and pain, won’t you let Christ into your life. He loved you enough to let Himself be tortured to death on a cruel, horrible Roman cross. He does love you and wants to help you with everything in your life. Praise God!!

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Eight Year Drought

Because of my cancer treatments, I had not taken a vacation trip in eight years. Finally this year, I traveled with my family(husband, daughter, son-in-law and two grandchildren) to the Smokey Mountains National Park. It was the first year since 2011 I have had the strength to travel anywhere. Also because of my little grandson’s autism, my daughter and son-in-law were unable to take him on any trips. Some places are friendly to handicapped children, but unfortunately most are not.

We stayed in a cabin so as not to disturb other people. My grandson has irregular sleep patterns and can make noise at night.

But Praise God, Praise God!! We had a wonderful time, and both children behaved much better than we expected. Baric, my grandson, seemed to enjoy the trip more than anyone. Autistic people can be fascinated by water and its movements so they took him to the Aquarium there. He loved it and enjoyed the mountain streams. They even let him dabble his toes in one.

I did not know even where to begin to look for a cabin to stay in and just took the first nice-looking one we could afford. It turned out to have a outstanding and beautiful view of the mountains and size-wise fit all of us.

God gave us a wonderful vacation, and all of us really needed it. Praise God, Praise God, Praise God!!! May He bless your life like He has blessed mine!  I came into life an orphan with nothing, and He has given me more than I could have thought possible. All He wants is your love and respect and of course, humble obedience. Have a blessed day!

Not about Me(Purchase)

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There is only one entity that can lift you up out of the slime pits of hell, and that is the Holy Spirit. When Satan literally is trying to destroy you—-and remember he doesn’t want to just give you a little boo boo, he wants to rip you to shreds——only the Holy Spirit of the Living God and Christ has the power to destroy Satan’s influence and effects in your life. Saturate yourself in Him. I had a horribly abusive start in life and was put into a home where I unfortunately never quite felt really wanted or loved. If it had not been for the presence of the living Christ in my life, I might have done myself in.

Watchman Nee says to kill off your old self, crucify yourself every morning in order to allow Christ to completely and totally live in you. Apostle Paul says It is not I that liveth but Christ that liveth in me. When you go under the waters of baptism, it like being buried, and you don’t bury something unless it is dead. We are to be new creations, totally new. The old man of sin and death was destroyed on Christ’s cross.  We will never do this perfectly this side of heaven. It is something we do have to struggle with.

I pray you can draw closer to the Living God. He does love you deeply, profoundly and passionately enough to send His only child to be tortured to death on a cruel, Roman cross. You are very, very precious to Him. Draw close to God, and He will draw close to you. Pray over everything with praise and thanksgiving.

Here is a poem on His presence. May the God of all hope bless your day. Praise God!!

Purchase

It was a purchase divine
In blood and of flesh
Freed from bone,
Ripped and torn.

Separated from life
But still supreme
Before a world lusting
After its death.

Who could know this
small death, one body
Thrown underground
Ripped open for eternity
An infinity of graves!

Spit Out Into Hell

impoverished-child-on-streets

Screenshot from Dante's Inferno video game
Screenshot from Dante’s Inferno video game

 

I came into the world as an orphan from birth with nothing, no mother, no father, no love. I was traumatized and abused both. They said I was a highly sensitive child so maybe it impacted me more than someone else. I remember only fear and terror. I was suicidal a few times, but God stays close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18. Here is a poem I wrote about my experiences. Hope you enjoy. Praise God!!!

Spit Out Into Hell

Alone, wet, cold
Shivering into the wall,
I try to fade, pushing
Into the emptiness inside,
This, an unending terror.

I crouch, attempting to avoid
The inevitable. Knowing it
Will come. Survive, survive,
Gritting the teeth
Hanging on, hoping
reprieve will come
Someday.

Despair, hopelessness
dragging. So worthless,
I deserve only
this joyless existence?

Looking up I scream
someone explain this
Why?

Until a light breaks in,
A gentle presence
Fear brought no longer
a feather-soft presence
ever over my head
hidden, between us only
a thin veil of sky.

Feelings stir
Leaving Hope.
Do Not Give Up.
I AM here.

A Wind lifts
Releasing, removing pain.
Strong, a glowing light
Shines down into
my interior.

A living God, a living
Son.
Wonder of wonders
He wants Me!
Joy begins, grows
Becomes stronger
Passion and Praise flow.
New Life Is Created.

So if I can endure
So can You.
His life can exist
Inside of you.

Remember, loving He spread out
His arms
On a wooden beam.
Death juxtaposed on top of
LIFE!

Strange but I believe
Eternally True.
an answer to the
WHY.
HE can use anything, pain
sorrow
To bring you closer to
joy.
and in the darkness give you
Himself.

Passion but not in Black and White

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Jesus loves us so profoundly, deeply and passionately that he left a place so wonderful we can’t even begin to imagine its beauty, and He did it solely for us. He allowed himself to be tortured to death overnight and into the next day for our sakes. He was beaten almost to death, flogged and then spiked to a piece of wood. He loves us totally and completely. The poem below I wrote about the depth of His love for us. Hope you enjoy and may God bless your day. Praise God!!

In Black and White

Small minds reduce
our Lord’s Glory
to mere words on a page.

Life is not lived in
Black and White!

All life contains
A struggle.
Sad, happy,
Pain, Joy,
Misery and Glory.
Passion.

Our Lord knew this
And for this
He died.

But not in
Black and White!

Music and in Living Color

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Sometimes I have very vivid dreams. I was dreaming early this morning about my old job when all of a sudden without warning I was in the middle of a large group of black slaves. It was so vivid. It was like watching a movie. I could see everything so clearly. I don’t know why I was dreaming about this. Maybe from the Lord, maybe not.

Anyway, they had been loaded into the back of an open air wagon pulled by a horse. There was the sense they were in the process of being moved from one place to another, and they were singing this song. I could hear their rich, deep voices singing as they were riding down the road. It was this:

Oh, what do you do when you need Jesus?  What do you do when you need Jesus? What do you do when you need Jesus?

Lord, take me home soon. Take me home soon.

Lord, take me home soon. Take me home soon.

The music was beautiful and the sound powerful. Everything was in color. The men were wearing white pants and shirts and the women were in colorful dresses, some in yellows, some in oranges with white kerchiefs around their necks. It was very moving. I could sense their pain.

I woke up and could not get the sound of the music, the words and their voices out of my head. In spite of their pain, they were looking to their Lord for their comfort.

Christ is everything. He is the Lord of this life and Lord of the next. In our pain, He wants to be close and intimate with you and be your comfort and to give you his power, strength and His joy. People talk so much about the gifts of the Spirit such as speaking in tongues, prophesying, teaching, giving generously, healing, but oh, the fruits of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. NIV

These are the core essence of the Living God. He is trying to turn us into Himself. Hallelujah, Praise God!! May He bless your day.

But. . .And that’s a big But

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Life down here on the face of this planet can get terrible, horrible and hellacious. All you have to do to have proof of this is to look at the children living in desperate poverty, women caught up in human trafficking and children caught up in child prostitution rings, and the list goes on.

My own start in life as an orphan was terrible and traumatic. I too can understand suffering first hand from my own life as most of us can. It can be at times so difficult to almost impossible to understand intense levels of pain whether it’s physical or emotional. It can feel so devastating——but, and this is a Big But, God sees and knows your pain. He loves you completely and totally. He is there in the middle of your suffering and can turn it around. Pray deeply over your situation. Stay connected to a spiritual community that can pray for you. Prayer demolishes strongholds!!

We all ask why the pain. I still cannot understand all of that mystery, but do not leave out the but God is there with you in the middle of the pain. Paul in Romans 8 says in the middle of his suffering ‘I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us’. The sting of pain in this world does not come close to the glory of our new life we will have as believers in Jesus of Nazareth and his power and glory. Revelation describes our new earth and new Jerusalem in such vivid terms of unimaginable beauty. 1 Corinthians 2:9 says What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived the things God has prepared for those who love him. Could it be that in comparison to heaven’s stupendous, fantastic beauty all our pain down here will be as if we had only slightly stubbed our toe?

The pain of life down here is real, and I by no means would belittle the suffering of anyone. It hurts, and this does not mean we should not try to alleviate suffering whenever it is possible for us to do so. We are to be the hands and feet of God and Christ. Three of the most beautiful words in the Holy Scriptures are God is love 1 John 4:16. Further down in verse 21, And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. (NIV)gloryofgod